“Orphan” seems to have become the most controversial movie in the world without anyone having actually, you know, seen it. (Groups all over have claimed that the movie has an anti-adoption agenda, because as we all know from the barrage of posters, trailers, and television spots – this is about an evil little girl who, adopted by a loving family, wreaks bloody havoc.) And while that inadvertent little burst of media hype may have done something to raise awareness (of the movie, not their bullshit cause) it may not provoke people to actually, you know, see it.
Which is a shame, because the movie isn’t a terribly bad piece of B-movie trash. (This is said in the most loving way possible.)
The movie opens with a truly awesome dream (nightmare?) sequence, wherein Vera Farmiga gives birth to a stillborn baby while surrounded by a ghoulish nurses. You see, she’s dealing with her recent birth to a stillborn baby, as well as residual guilt over her alcoholism (that led to a near-fatal accident involving one of her other children). We’re soon introduced to her family, including husband Peter Starsaard (who has his own skeletons in the closet) and two children (Jimmy Bennett and Aryana Engineer). The couple decides on a solution to their heartache: adoption.
Except that the precocious child they insist on bringing home (Isabelle Fuhrman) isn’t exactly what they had hoped for. She’s a conniving, unusual, lecherous and murderous little fiend and while Vera is convinced of this fairly early on (having already been through another evil child movie, 2007’s “Joshua”), nobody else pays much attention.
The director, Jaume Collet-Serra, is a pretty talented dude. He directed the “House of Wax” remake for the same studio (Joel Silver’s genre arm Dark Castle), which, while being saddled with some ridiculous stunt casting (Paris Hilton), still managed to be a rip-roaring horror movie. “House” really took off in its final act, where Collet-Serra showed a Zemeckis-ian dexterity for upping the ante in suspense set pieces. This is also the case with “Orphan,” whose last act is also its best. It’s just that, unlike “House of Wax,” there’s a lot of padding in “Orphan” that maybe should be applauded (deeper characterizations and complex interpersonal relationships are the last things you except from a horror movie), really do slow things down considerably.
There is, however, a twist in the last act that really energizes things and brings the whole enterprise to a new level. (And, yes, you’ll still have to see it to find out.) Both Farmiga and Starsgaard (always a fan of the genre, check out his underrated voodoo movie “The Skeleton Key”) commit to their roles with much relish, and Isabelle Fuhrman really rises to the challenge in a fairly difficult role – besides being an evil little kid, she also had to provide a convincing Russian accent.
The elements that sizzle really do, but those long stretches where things are just quietly unfolding drag the movie down to an almost unbearable degree. Things need to happen in movies like this – big, splashy, blood-soaked things. And if those things don’t happen often enough, well, we’re going to feel let down, no matter how outrageous the climax may be. It’s a B-movie that earns its B admirably, even while striving for something a little bit grander.
It should be noted, however, that the main villain of the film, even beyond the demonic child killer, is the setting. In “Orphan,” we’re exposed to the world of Connecticut as a barren, snow-blasted landscape, full of roadways shellacked with ice and dangerous, not-nearly-frozen-enough ponds and enough snow-covered hidey holes that you can very easily get away with murder. (Of course, this being a Hollywood production, it was filmed in Canada.) Thank god Hollywood has exposed Connecticut for what it really is – an unlivable wasteland full of torment, psychic despair, and (to paraphrase Samuel L. Jackson in “1408”) evil fuckin’ kids.[B] – Drew Taylor