After all the hot and bothered threesome talk that generated buzz for “Vicky Cristina Barcelona,” writer/director Woody Allen did a publicist’s nightmare when he downplayed all the sex and tried to manage the expectations of what you might see onscreen (Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz make out, the two have a threesome with Javier Bardem). Allen said all the scenes would be essentially tasteful, and the collective interweb boners died to about half mast. But then the trailer hit and it was rather titillating so we were all interested again.
Allen recently talked to the Associated Press where he again encouraged us all to not try and brave the waters of the menage a trois because they’re too damn combustible and unmanageable.
“In trying to figure out solutions in life, two actually tends to make it more complicated than one. The characters in this movie are able, the chemistry was right, and they’re able to handle the situation. But in real life, most of us petty people could never handle anything like that. It’s hard enough to get a relationship that can work out with one person, but with two, it becomes geometrically more fatal.”
Speak for yourself, bub. Allen’s publicist really needs to give him a talking. If ‘Barcelona’ sucks like some reviews said it does, then the one-off success of “Match Point” is going to seem like a fluke and we’re all going to forget him again. To keep us semi-titillated again, the Cannes website has two scenes from the film including one with Lothario Javier Bardem trying to convince Rebecca Hall and Scarlett Johansson to have sex with him. The straight-laced Hall tells Bardem that she’s all about love, commitment, real connections and that she’s engaged so buzz off. When she rejects him and leaves, Bardem – who’s tried to make a case for romance and free love – asks Johannson how she feels about. She arches an eyebrow and gives him a warning and challenge, “I’ll go to your room, but you have to seduce me.”
The second clip has Penelope Cruz admitting to Scarlett Johansson that she’s rifled through her luggage to see if she could trust her. After all, she is sleeping with Bardem, her husband.