Ok, Quentin Tarantino’s WWII film, “Inglourious Basterds,” what went wrong exactly? Some have already suggested we wanted to hate the film (we gave it a fairly mediocre rating in our review), which is utter nonsense. In fact, we spent half the weekend thinking about the film and mulling over in our heads what happened (no, it hasn’t gotten better with time yet). We loved the script and we suppose we’ll always have the story, but something went amiss when it went onscreen.
We became so preoccupied with it this concept over the weekend we went out to rent “Kill Bill 2,” as it was one of Tarantino’s works that we thought most resembled ‘Basterds’ (we hadn’t seen it in a while, the other film was “Jackie Brown,” which we had seen in the last year, so no need to re-watch there). One things for sure, “Kill Bill 2,” — at least on a second viewing and yes, hindsight is 20/20 — was eminently more watchable and thrilling cinema then what QT delivered with ‘Basterds.’ So we got to thinking… how do you fix “Inglourious Basterds”? Well, you can’t really, but if you could, here’s 10 (some cheeky), pie-in-the-sky suggestions on how to do it, most of them, at this point totally impossible.
1. Go back in time. Turn the film into a 5-6 part mini-series for HBO. The ‘Inglourious’ script is long, but could have been even much longer. One thing is very clear: ‘Inglourious’ as it stands now does not really flesh out the characters well and even at a longer cut version, it doesn’t feel like there’s much more you can do (there’s a decent amount on the cutting room floor, but not that much). It works on the page, but not the screen. So the right thing to do would have been to follow each story (Shosanna’s exploits at the Cinematheque, the Basterds voyage to Germany, a little bit more story on the British Unit and Col Hans Landa’s) and then culminate in the same way the script is written. Tarantino’s initial instincts to make this film a mini-series could have served the story very well in a “Band of Brothers” manner (a series he himself had referenced as an example). There are five chapters in the film and each of them could have at least been their own episode.
2. Turn the picture into two films, ala “The Kill Bill” series. Watching “Kill Bill” again this weekend, you really see how the second picture really centers on the backstory and character of Beatrix Kiddo (Uma Thurman). We’ll admit, the idea of two ‘Inglourious’ films (as it was once envisioned, obviously QT has had many different ideas for it) was an anathema to us initially, but with no real central character (at least not in the film version), a second picture could really help out flesh out the mostly-thin characters. However, even if Tarantino would edit back everything he cut out of ‘Inglourious,’ we’re not sure he’d have enough for two pictures. The difference of what’s onscreen and what’s on the page feels like maybe 20% excised at best, but its the unquantifiable spirit and tone, much of it just in the description of the story, that feels like its missing and perhaps, again if he weren’t so rushed, he’d have time to three-dimensionalize this stuff on the screen.
3. Go back in time to Cannes 2008 and not declare the film ready for a debut at Cannes 2009 (yes, we were totally wrong, Tarantino did finish the film in time, congratulations on the hurried execution?). The film is rushed, this is evident in almost every manner. The filmmaker should have not hurried the production. You need to take time with this kind of story. Even on the official website (in the “about the production” section) they talk about the “frenzied, spirited pre-production.” “The first 2-4 weeks were insane and everything was happening so fast,” executive producer Lloyd Phillips is quoted as saying.
4. Quentin needs to stop hiring his friends. Though he’s only in the picture for a short while, Eli Roth does not help. Likewise, blank-eyed Omar Doom, the chucklehead who is also plays Roth-buddy in “Death Proof,” wouldn’t have an acting career if it weren’t for Tarantino and he’s a non-existent presence to say the least (although the filmmaker obviously see’s something in him. What that is, we have no clue). Doom has a larger role in the film then on the page (in fact his character is non-existent in the version of the screenplay that leaked) and that means less time for Samm Levine, who actually has more than two acting credits to his resume (uhh, “Death Proof” and ‘Basterds’ are all Doom has). Roth also doesn’t seem anywhere near as menacing as he should be for the important role of Donny Donowitz. The guy is a director and works fine for things like, “The Nation’s Pride,” but neither of these two clowns are proper actors and it shows, frankly.
5. Not cut out the Maggie Cheung section. On one hand we’re relieved Cheung wasn’t in the film. We love her, but she’s supposed to pass as the aunt for Shosanna. Shosanna is a French Jew and no matter how you slice it, or try and skew it on film, Maggie Cheung is Asian. Even in Tarantino’s weird, fairy tale WWII revisionist world, there’s no way that the cunning Col Hans Landa (played by Christoph Waltz) will buy this (let alone the audience). In the film he appears even more expert and meticulous in his detective ways, so to show Maggie Cheung as Shosanna’s (Melanie Laurent) aunt is severely testing and breaking the limits of suspension of disbelief. On the other hand, Cheung’s character Madame Mimieux takes in Shosanna after her parents are killed and it’s this backstory, replete with a love for film since she is a cinematheque owner, that gives further depth to this main character’s motivations (especially in the final climax).
6. Flesh out the British unit section. Obviously what’s on the page and what’s on screen are always two different things. What feels sufficient in the screenplay — the section of the film that introduces Mike Meyers, Rod Taylor and Michael Fassbender (A British General, Winston Churchill and a British Lt, respectively) feels so thin — Meyers part feel like a glaring, weird cameo, hire a lesser known actor would have made this scene less strange — it just feels like an afterthought. If it weren’t important dialogue exposition for the goal of the film, we’d say just cut it entirely now (and many this section is so dull and shot very blandly).
7. Here’s one that’s plausible and could actually work to a possible great degree. Rescore the picture. The music choices while fine on their own individually fail to elevate much of the action or drama onscreen. The film is talky and sedate and we hate to say it, but Tarantino might need to rechoose his use of songs and find ones that are potentially grander and more emotionally resonant. Perhaps even melodramatic, anything to give some of the dead scenes more life. The final song used in the credits (bel0w) is a fantastic example of that. Generally you want to use music as subtle emotional lubricant, and the use of music in ‘Basterds’ is mostly understated, but there’s a problem here people, so goose up the music and find some more dynamic Morricone songs.
8. Brad Pitt could rethought that accent and his whole tic-laden mannerisms for his character. Lt. Aldo Raine. It’s a campy and cartoony performance and we normally like him, but… maybe the director should have reigned him in.
8.1. Extra Credit that has nothing to do with 7 reason on how to fix the film. Back in the day we originally wrote a thorough piece offering casting suggestions for the film. We suggested Alexandra Maria Lara (“Control”) for the role of Bridget Von Hammersmark (that eventually went to Diane Kruger) and we learned at Cannes that she actually read for the role, but didn’t get the part because… well, silly reasons, we don’t want to get into it, but shoulda, coulda, woulda. Although, we will say Kruger ended up being a pretty good fit for the part.
8.2. Suggestions. Hire some new collaborators, Robert Richardson’s cinematography doesn’t do the film much good as the lens and framing are flat. That halo glow look he insists on using is played out too.
BTW, this is the song, that ends “Inglourious Basterds” and plays out in the credits. Its wonderful and if only the film would have used it more and been as energetic and passionate as the song. It’s called “Rabbia & Tarantella” by Ennio Morricone (Tarantino used eight of his previous film compositions from various pictures for ‘Basterds’) from the 1974 political drama/satire, “Allonsanfan” by brother director team Paolo and Vittorio Taviani.