‘Bangkok Dangerous’ Won’t Be Screened for Critics; Shocker!

Nicholas Cage commits another crime against hair in his new series of moving images that involve the same character and apparently have a story, “Bangkok Dangerous.” This piece of regurgitated cat vomit looks awful. We are refraining from using the word “film” when talking about it. Cage plays a tough and ruthless hitman on assignment in Thailand, home of the rough and toothless, and we care so little about it that we aren’t even going to look up the rest of the synopsis, because it isn’t even important. Cage hasn’t been in a good movie since “The Weather Man,” which is subjective as well. He did have a hilarious bit part as Fu Manchu in the fake trailer “Werewolf Women of the S.S.” in “Grindhouse.” He used to act in one good movie a year and then sleepwalk through three or four bad ones, but now as his hair dous get worse, so do his parts.