'Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie' Is Frustratingly More Like Abso-Sort-Of Fabulous [Review]

Even in this era of never dying franchises it’s somewhat remarkable just how long the “Absolutely Fabulous” train has lasted.  The UK TV series began in 1992 and within two years became a cult hit in he U.S. (largely with gay audiences) on a little cable upstart network at the time, Comedy Central. In the years that followed “AbFab,” as it was referred to, became one of the BBC’s biggest exports spawning Pet Shop Boys club hits and two failed attempts at an American television incarnation.  Now, almost 25 years later, the long awaited and rumored movie is here. Was it worth the wait? Yes and no.

Inspired by a 1990 sketch by Jennifer Saunders and Dawn French on their BBC comedy show “French and Saunders,” “AbFab” centered on the over-the-top adventures of PR (that’s public relations for those playing at home) maven Edina “Eddy” Monsoon (Saunders) and her BFF Patsy Stone (Joanna Lumley), a magazine fashion editor who preferred all night binges to showing up for work.  The series perfectly encapsulated a post-Cold War world where fashion models transformed into celebrity supermodels and the extravagant excesses of the ‘80s mixed with a return to the party won’t stop attitude of the ‘70s. It wonderfully mocked pop culture on both sides of the Atlantic even when some of the jokes were so insider they flew over the audiences’ heads.

Kate Moss in Absolutely Fabulous- The Movie (2016)Eddy and Patsy were sort of the worst version of everything you’d want to be. They were addicted to being on top of the hottest trends and getting on the guest list to the hottest parties over everything else (what else was there to live for?). They were constantly drinking champagne or snorting coke (at least Patsy was) and were brazenly politically incorrect even as they crashed one charity event after another. The joke was, of course, that Eddy and Patsy were seemingly oblivious to their own actions while Eddy’s sadly dour daughter Saffy (a terminally underrated Julia Sawalha) never failed to react in horror to all their jaw-dropping escapades as the only adult in the room. Eventually stars such as Elton John, Helena Bonham Carter and Naomi Campbell as well as pretty much every major fashion designer in the English speaking world found a way to cameo one way or another. Frankly, it set such a standard in ripping the fashion industry there simply could have been no “Zoolander” without “AbFab” setting the bar first.

Saunders wrote a majority of the series with French and the show basically lived on as single seasons or specials when she was inspired to write a new chapter or two. The longest break was between 2005 and 2011, with the return timed to the show’s 20th anniversary and the London 2012 Olympic Games. And, considering how the characters were beginning to feel somewhat out of place when they popped up over the previous two decades, the surprisingly funny Olympic episodes seemed like a great way to cap off the series. That is until Saunders decided to finally write a big screen version she’d talked about for years. Hence, “Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie.”

Stella McCartney, Kate Moss, Jennifer Saunders, and Nick Grimshaw in Absolutely Fabulous- The Movie (2016)Under the direction of Mandie Fletcher, who helmed the aforementioned “last season,” the new film finds Eddy struggling as she hits her 60s. She’s down to only two real celebrity clients – former Spice Girl Emma Bunton and old school British pop star Lulu – and can’t compete with her cutthroat peers like Claudia Bing (a deliciously evil Celia Imrie). The somewhat ageless Patsy, on the other hand, is still gainfully employed and overseeing a huge soiree for her magazine near the Thames river. When Patsy finds out none other than Kate Moss has dropped her PR rep, Eddy concocts a plan to corner her at the party and sign her. And she has a secret weapon, her adorable multi-racial granddaughter Lola (an impressive Indeyarna Donaldson-Holness) who relates much more to her grandmother’s celebrity lifestyle than Saffy’s more mundane interests. Things take a turn for the worse, however, when Claudia and Eddy both try and approach Kate, who is posing as models are want to do, on a ledge over the river.  It “appears” Eddy pushes Kate off the ledge and the supermodel falls into the water and goes missing. And, yes, the media and police immediately blame dear ol’ Eddy, with manslaughter charges quickly hanging over her head.

Before you can think the movie will take an “Orange Is The New Black” turn, the rest of the picture finds Eddy and Patsy doing what only Eddy and Patsy would think to do — they jet to the south of France. And, yes, they do have a plan. Patsy intends to quickly marry an old flame she hasn’t seen in 40 years (an out of makeup Barry Humphries aka Dame Edna Everage) and the pair can then live off his fortune escaping into their ultimate dream: a life of never ending luxury. Obviously, things don’t work out quite as they hoped, but for one brief night our heroines believe they will be set for life (for a short while anyway).

Daisy Lowe and Lara Stone in Absolutely Fabulous- The Movie (2016)While the storyline is disappointingly messy Saunders and Fletcher do have some success with the celebrity cameos. Jon Hamm, Stella McCartney and Gwendoline Christie all have fun mocking their public personas and Chris Colfer and Rebel Wilson steal every scene they are in as Eddy’s g-a-y hairstylist and a refreshingly blunt airline flight attendant, respectfully. The problem is that even Anglophile American audiences will have trouble recognizing a lot of the contemporary British stars that pop on by. That means a number of beats where Fletcher and Saunders expect laughs that, at least in this critic’s experience stateside, were greeted with awkward silence.

And did we mention how messy the script is? A perfect example is a trip to a local karaoke club that is seemingly doubling as a night of 1,000 drag queens. Eddy and Patsy are pretty much drag queens themselves and as someone who loves that art of drag I’ll never complain about their inclusion or Saunders’ support for the gay community (nice for Jodie Harsh to get a speaking role too), but it is an unnecessary and unfunny tangent that reveals a very small plot point that could have easily been resolved elsewhere.

Jane Horrocks and June Whitfield in Absolutely Fabulous- The Movie (2016)The film’s biggest sin, however, is that it revisits an Eddy storyline that has seemingly been revisited at least two or three times during the series itself. Can Eddy come to peace with aging? Can she realize she’s never going to lose that weight she always wants to? Will she have a moment of self-awareness about how shallow her life is? Will she have yet another “bonding” moment with Saffy?  No spoiler alert is needed, you’ll figure out its coming 20 minutes in. And, honestly, Saunders is too smart a writer to retread this material.

What does work is whenever Saunders and Lumley are on screen together, simply letting Eddy and Patsy interact with each other. The reason the characters have endured so long is because the duo has a rare Laurel and Hardy-like chemistry that often transcends whatever language they are speaking (they often turn mumbling into an art form) and it’s punctuated by their superb physical comedy skills. Lumley, in fact, is simply a marvel. A still energetic and on point 70-years-old, you believe she could play this part for another 20 years.  That’s one reason why for all the film’s faults, Saunders and Lumley still bring an addictive energy to the screen that finds you wanting more. Considering how successful the film has already been in the UK, we can only hope to get a story that does Eddy and Patsy right in the inevitable sequel. [C+]