Do you have a dusty old would-be-franchise, from as far back as five years ago? Is it no longer economically viable to hire the stars from the original? Are you an executive tired of rooting through those piles of scripts in the search for non-derivative material? Then come to Regency Enterprises (a mini inside of 20th Century Fox), where they’ll give your series a lick of paint, cast actors half the age and a quarter of the cost of the initial stars and knock out a new version in time for a release date determined before the script’s been written!
The success of “Batman Begins,” “Casino Royale” and “Star Trek” has sent Hollywood reboot crazy, with the likes of “Spider-Man” and “Planet of the Apes” all starting from scratch. Now, somewhat ludicrously, Fox are starting over with a new version of the fresh-in-the-memory 2005 Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie actioner “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” Like all Doug Liman films, it had a troubled production, but proved a commercial hit, making close to $500 million worldwide, and inexplicably was even popular with critics; we suppose the action scenes are well constructed, but the film’s a a bit of a mess, narratively speaking.
An attempt was made in 2007 to turn the film into a TV series, with Martin Henderson and Jordana Brewster taking on the Pitt and Jolie roles, but it never made it beyond a pilot. Now, according to Vulture, Fox are dipping into the “money for old rope” file again, and are planning a prequel/reboot entitled “Mr. and Mrs. Jones.” The film won’t follow the original characters, instead focusing on a pair of spies in their twenties who are paired as a fake married couple after they graduate spy school. Original producer Akiva Goldsman, a man who could sacrifice himself to save the world, and will still have “screenwriter of ‘Batman and Robin’ ” at the top of his obituary, will shepherd the project, guaranteeing, as if there were any doubt, that it’ll be a solid gold lump of shit unless they somehow find someone as talented (and reckless) as Liman was.
There’s no word on a writer, a director or casting, but we’re sure Miley Cyrus and one of the Jonas Brothers are eagerly awaiting a phone call. In semi-related news, Fox will shortly announce that they’ll be rebooting your life, with a younger, better-looking replacement from a CW series taking over the role of “you”, with Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens playing your parents. You know, for kids.