Comic Con has become a mushroom cloud (or maybe a laser-guided ion canon) of hyperbole and media oversaturation.
What used to be a good-natured gathering of hardcore comic book aficionados has blossomed, mutated, and turned rancid. Now it’s just another place for the Hollywood machine to pander to its base. And the Internet, as a whole, couldn’t be happier.
(When perennial asshole Ben Lyons is trying to decide which Comic Con movies are going to be nominated for Oscars, it’s time to abandon ship. And, by the way, Ben, to use a popular geek phrase — spoiler alert: none of them are. )
Last week, the list-icle/charticle obsessed author Chris Campbell at Spoutblog provided some excellent perspective on ComicCon films and deftly pointed one important element absent from all noise and hype: Comic Con “hits” from years past have often equaled terrible movies, poor reviews and underwhelming box office. Just think, last year people were too busy goggling at Hugh Jackman’s shiny claws and Christian Bale battling robots to notice that the movies looked god awful.
Similarly, we look at a few movies from this year’s Con that could tank when they’re finally released. Keep in mind that we’re not rooting for these movies to fail. Far from it – we love an intelligent, well-designed popcorn movie as much as the next geek. But what we’re trying to do (and what Chris’ original article did so well) was put the feverish Comic Con excitement in context. Thinking about how excited people were about the leaden “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow” kind of boggles the mind.
“Kick-Ass” (Matthew Vaughn, release date TBA)
Why the Nerds Loved It: Because it’s adapted from a comic book by demigods Mark Millar (“Wanted,” “Old Man Logan,” “Fantastic Four”) and John Romita, Jr. (“Amazing Spider-Man,” “World War Hulk”), about a teenage boy who decides to become the real world’s first superhero (this is a fantasy many of the Comic Con guests have had… repeatedly… while wearing their Silver Surfer pajamas). Add in the mystifying allure of producer-cum-director Matthew Vaughn, who was responsible for two mild geek crowd pleasers (“Layer Cake” and the oddly enjoyable Neil Gaiman adaptation “Stardust”). Also, nerds love violence, and if it’s anything like the comic book, it’ll be almost wall-to-wall gore.
What the Nerds Said: “Matthew Vaughn’s adaptation improves on Mark Millar’s original comic — by looking more like a comic book.” – io9
Why It Could Possibly Fail: Remember last year, when the Con got all worked up about a stylized, hyper-violent deconstruction of the superhero genre and then it came out and vastly underperformed to expectations? Yeah, so do we. It was called “Watchmen.” Expect similar reactions when and if “Kick-Ass” ever comes out (it was independently financed and is still seeking distribution) – mainstream audiences will be turned off by its hardcore violence, overt stylization and its geeky inside-jokes. Mark Millar is an excellent plotter, but it’ll take a feat of superheroics for Vaughn and company to wrangle this thing into a workable movie. And need we remind you of what happened the last time Nic Cage and comic books intertwined? (It was called “Ghost Rider.” And it was atrocious.)
“Tron Legacy” (Joseph Kosinksi, 2010)
Why the Nerds Loved It: Because they have misplaced, nostalgia-encrusted love for the original film, released back in 1982 (Jesus that’s a long time ago). For those who slept on the original film (or slept THROUGH it), it was about a sophisticated videogame system that predated all those movies about virtual reality. It featured “light-cycles” that zipped along neon lines. Expect more of the same, except all jazzed up, CGI-addled, and in high-tech 3-D. Somehow, they’ve managed to recruit original stars Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxlietner to return.
What the Nerds Said: “Shit will be mind blowing when complete.” – Harry Knowles, Ain’t It Cool News
Why It Could Possibly Fail: We admit that the movie has an intriguing crew (it was written by a couple of the “Lost” fellows, was shot by “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”‘s Claudio Miranda, and features a score by Daft Punk) and that the effects test/teaser trailer/whatever-the-fuck-it-was that came online this week was pretty cool, but getting excited about Tron seems counter intuitive to say the least. Too much time has passed between installments, and Disney is banking on something that could be too niche and selective. The added incentive of 3-D won’t be enough to lure people who don’t remember the first movie, or who aren’t wowed by empty visual effects extravaganzas. (This could hold some appeal for recreational drug users, as a stoned 3-D Tron experience could be excellent.) Expect a fate similar to that of the Wachowski Brothers’ “Speed Racer”: some will claim that its dazzling visuals represent a mind-blowing cinematic game-changer, but mainstream audiences at large will meet it with a collective shrug.
“District 9” (Neill Blomkamp, August 14th, 2009)
Why the Nerds Loved It: Because it’s hardcore sci-fi, without all the Hollywood window dressing of a “thriller” or “action picture.” “District 9” is set in an alternate reality where aliens have colonized part of South Africa, only to be treated like dirt. (Real life socio-political parallels here? Nah.) The restrained trailers promised things that all Comic Con-ners love: space ships, alien weapons, robotic suits, and, yeah, creepy alien beings. Also, it’s produced by Comic Con golden god Peter Jackson, and directed by the dude that was going to direct the “Halo” movie, based on the popular Xbox videogame. Plus, they screened the ENTIRE MOVIE at Comic Con, and nerds love “exclusives” and being pandered to.
What the Nerds Said: “!!!!” – First Showing and /Film
Why It Could Possibly Fail: While “District 9” has gone to painful lengths to cultivate an air of “Cloverfield”-esque mystique, and that is refreshing in today’s “show everything as quick as possible” culture, this strategy could also backfire catastrophically. Some people, puzzled by what the movie is about, could just stay away all together. (Like “Cloverfield,” which was shepherded by J.J. Abrams, folks will go to “District 9” because of its all-star producer.) It could be both too muddled and yet too on-the-nose for mainstream critics to get behind it, and then there’s always that “Cloverfield” factor that, once the cat is let out of the bag, nobody will really care. Expect a huge opening weekend and a sharp drop-off after that (unlike “Cloverfield,” “District 9” is also saddled with a teenage boy unfriendly R-rating). Still, we remain cautiously optimistic about the film – it could just be the late-summer sleeper we’re all desperate for.
“Jonah Hex” (Jimmy Hayward, June 28th, 2010)
Why the Nerds Loved It: It’s based on a popular D.C. antihero created by John Albano and Tony DeZuniga); a battle-damaged Confederate soldier who often runs into trouble, both worldly and otherworldly. Its cast reads like it was plucked off of a Comic Book Resources message board (Josh Brolin as the scarred Hex, Megan Fox as the femme fatale, Will Arnett as Hex’s morally ambiguous employer, and John Malkovich as the psychotic villain). There’s also been a nice rejuvenation in the western genre in the past few years And, well, it’s not like there are too many exciting D.C. movies in the pipeline to get pumped about. Beggars, after all, cannot be choosers.
What the Nerds Said: “This one was cool… it looks like a spaghetti western vs. the supernatural.” – Latino Review
Why It Could Possibly Fail: Listen, we’re all for a unique mixture of the western genre with supernatural elements. In fact, while not a lot is known about the cheeky script (by “Crank” scribes Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor), it is speculated that it is based on genius East Texas writer Joe R. Lansdale’s run on the series for D.C. imprint Vertigo. Lansdale is one of the most imaginative and under-adapted writers around, so seeing his gonzo sensibility brought to the big screen is cause for celebration. But we’re not sure that this is a project worth celebrating. Brolin is a great bad-ass, and we know that Malkovich can do villainous better than anybody, but Megan Fox doesn’t instill much faith. And after many years in animation, working for Pixar and Blue Sky Studios, director Jimmy Hayward is making his live action debut. There is a minor reason for major excitement, though, in the casting of the always-brilliant Michael Shannon as “the ringleader of a gladiator circus.” However the movie turns out, we’re fairly certain Shannon will steal the show.
“Ninja Assassin” (James McTeigue, November 25th, 2009)
Why the Nerds Loved It: This action flick, produced by Joel Silver and the Wachowski Brothers, had its trailer debut right before Comic Con and about the second it went online, the response was overwhelmingly positive. It stars Rain, a Korean pop star who was supposed to break through with his small role in the Wachowski Brothers’ “Speed Racer.” (We all know how well that panned out…) The Wachowski Brothers still hold a lot of geek cache, and the director is James McTeigue, their former first unit director who also filmed the Wachowskis’ adaptation of Alan Moore and David Lloyd’s comic book “V for Vendetta.” Also, the script was heavily re-written by J. Michael Straczynski who, besides writing the script for the Oscar-nominated “Changeling” last year, is a huge comic book author, currently scripting the monthly “Thor” book for Marvel. Plus, it costars the lovely and geek-approved Naomie Harris, from “28 Days Later” and the latter “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies. Warner Bros. screened the entire movie at Comic Con but it is supposed to be very hush hush (still, the dude from First Showing let slip that it was, quote, “the most bloodiest thing I’ve seen this year.”)
What the Nerds Said: “You need to drop everything and watch this!” – First Showing
Why It Will Almost Certainly Fail: We can’t decide if the title is profoundly brilliant or profoundly stupid. We also can’t decide whether mainstream audiences will give the Wachowski Brothers another chance, after the alienating “Matrix” sequels and befuddling “Speed Racer.” (We know they didn’t direct it, but their pudgy fingerprints are all over this thing.) And while a super-violent movie about a bunch of kick-ass ninjas is enough to make anyone excited, the trailer was underwhelming and too frenetic – low on actual narrative, high on jumping around. Those weapons that Rain swings around also look pretty dopey. J. Michael Straczynski’s involvement is encouraging, but he also might temper its gleefully junky, drive-in appeal. Really, what doesn’t scream “family Thanksgiving viewing” like a bunch of bloodied ninjas? – Drew Taylor