Fergie's 'Sex And The City' Theme Leaks Much To The Chagrin Of Ears Everywhere; Soundtrack Features Jem, India.Arie & Other Songs To Shop To

Holy shit, this thing is an abortion. It’s some like someone’s shitting in our mouths and trying to call it a Sundae, we aint’ having it. Fergie’s “theme” to the upcoming “Sex and the City,” movie – titled the “Labels or Love” – has leaked on the Tube and holy christ is it baaaaaad.

A sampling of the lyrics that we seriously did not make up: “shopping for labels, shopping for love,” “I know my credit card will help me put out the flames,” “Stop chasing those boys and shop some more!” (ack!!) she honks away in an aggravating autotune (it’s like they put a bolt in her head to block out any remote traces of intelligence in the words). There’s actually some musical motifs in there from the piano-dancing original ‘Sex’ theme which is just painful. Or as the press release says, the iconic theme is “re-imagined as a fabulous pop song.”

Sure, it’s Fergie and we might have expected as much, but christ, really? If this doesn’t induce a heart attack for Big, we’re not sure what will. An indication of things to come for the movie? Upwardly mobile New York City girls with plenty of extra spending income are sincerely worried.

The soundtrack info came out today as well. Sex and the City: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, is due May 27 via Newline and features, what we assume will be shopping/cosmo-drinking montage-friendly tracks by the aforementioned Fergie, c0-star Jennifer Hudson, Jem, The Bird & The Bee, India.Arie and Al Green. And oh yeah, Pitchfork reminds us to re-write what we already reported: Cee-Lo of Gnarls Barkley co-wrote (with MC Jack Splash) the song sung by Jennifer Hudson in the film’s credits, “All Dressed in Love.”

Fergie said in a stock statement. “I grew up watching ‘Sex and the City’ and I know a lot of my girlfriends did as well. We felt like these characters were our friends, so to be a part of this project has been amazing. I’m such a fan of the show and am very flattered that they asked me to be involved.”

“Sex and the City” hits theaters nationwide on May 30. It will provide insight into lifelong friendships and make you cry at the end. There will also be montage sequences in the film shot in slow motion.

Can “Sex and the City” compete with the comic-book heavy summer? Oh hell it can. Check this hilarious nugget. “These women are the ultimate female superheroes,” says Michael Patrick King, who executive produced the HBO series. ” ‘Sex and The City’ was made to correct the myth that if you were single at a certain age, you were a leper. Its four characters are heroes to a lot of women; they run around New York, or Gotham — but they have fancy shoes instead of capes.” LOLZ.

“Sex And The City” soundtrack tracklist
1. Labels or Love – Fergie
2. All Dressed in Love – Jennifer Hudson
3. The Look of Love (Madison Park vs. Lenny B remix) – Nina Simone
4. New York Girls – Morningwood
5. All This Beauty – The Weepies
6. I Like The Way – Kaskade
7. It’s Amazing – Jem
8. How Deep Is Your Love – The Bird & The Bee
9. The Heart Of The Matter – India.Arie
10. Auld Lang Syne – Mairi Campbell & Dave Francis
11. Kissing – Bliss
12. How Can You Mend A Broken Heart – Al Green (featuring Joss Stone)
13. Walk This Way- Run-D.M.C. (featuring Steve Tyler and Joe Perry)
14. Sex and the City Movie Theme – The Pfeifer Broz. Orchestra