LOUD NOISES! 'Transformers: The Dark Of The Moon' Trailer Arrives In All Its Clanging Glory

Oof. We know there is a huge subset of the geek set that are going to go bonkers for this trailer, but it’s probably worth noting: remember how great that “Battle: Los Angeles” trailer looked and how much of a turd burger that turned out to be? Yeah, just keep that in mind.

Anyway, the big moment has arrived and the full-length razzle dazzle boner jamz trailer for “Transformers: The Dark Of The Moon” has arrived and it looks pretty fucking dumb. The movie seems to be built around some kind of space event that brings on a massive robot war from which the handsome good looks of the leading men will be enlisted to save the day (oh no! Tyrese has lost faith! what shall we ever do?!!?!?). From there cue lots and lots of explosions, CGI, not much dialogue, Shia LaBeouf looking gritty and a lot of rips of the “Inception” soundscape. The best part of this trailer is that we see none of the new cast members like Frances McDormand or Ken Jeong or maybe they were just too embarrassed to make an appearance (oh sorry, the former does, but doesn’t get a word in edgewise). We totally understand.

“Transformers: Bring The Drama, Mama” opens on July 1st. And if you like Linkin Park, the soundtrack hits on June 7th. Synopsis and trailer below (or in HD at Apple).

Shia LaBeouf returns as Sam Witwicky in Transformers: Dark of the Moon. When a mysterious event from Earth’s past erupts into the present day it threatens to bring a war to Earth so big that the Transformers alone will not be able to save us.