New 'Expendables' Sizzle Reel Makes It Look Like The Big Dumb Boner Of An Action Movie It's Meant To Be

Update: The sizzle reel, which found its way to YouTube and was promptly taken down in October, seems to still be living on DailyMotion. According to the post date, it was also put up in October and we’re guessing the folks at Millennium missed it. Enjoy it while you can as it will probably be taken down shortly. Not much in the way of news since our initial report, except that we might see Bruce Willis and the Governator in cameo roles.

The first (semi?) official look at “The Expendables” has hit the net and, as expected, it looks exactly how it’s supposed to look. The action-heads have pissed and moaned about this film being strategically pushed back to August 2010, but we have what looks to be a slightly pumped-up version of the sizzle reel that played at Cannes. Sylvester Stallone writes, directs and headlines the pic, a rock-’em, sock-’em throwback to cheese-filled eighties action pictures involving a group of mercenaries infiltrating a South American stronghold to unseat a villainous dictator.

What we learn from this clip:
-Mercenaries always keep their cell phone on when fighting pirates.
-Jet Li’s English has gotten worse?
-Mickey Rourke shops at the same pipe shop as Col. Landa.
-Eric Roberts likes to have a good time. All. The. Time.
-There’s a popping throat in there, suggesting there’s more than a little R-rated material in the finished product.
-Someone hurt Jason Statham’s feelings by saying White Men Can’t Jump.
-Terry Crews has a great wardrobe and, apparently, a sonic gun. We’d like to think he provided both props from his personal collection.
-This particular auteur has switched the squibs from “Rambo” with millions of dollars in explosive devices.

All told, it looks like there’s a lot more humor than we expected, but otherwise, it looks like the ‘roided-up son of “Delta Force,” “American Ninja” and all sorts of campy Sunday afternoon action touchstones. Millennium Films has a reputation for working and shooting on the cheap, so someone in their department is likely responsible for making this look and feel like a straight-to-DVD offering, but when Lionsgate preps a full length trailer, it should look notably more polished.