'New York, I Love You' Official Trailer Finally Arrives

So what do you do when your omnibus film, “Paris Je T’Aime” featuring the talents of highly regarded auteurs like Gus Van Sant, Alexander Payne, Alfonso Cuarón, the Coen Brothers, Walter Salles & Olivier Assayas becomes a minor arthouse sensation? Well if you’re the producers of that film you naturally follow it up with another omnibus film, only this time crank up the star power, downgrade the guys behind the camera and aim for more bucks at the box office.

This time the producers seemed to have hired whoever was available or interested, leading to head-slapping choices like Brett Ratner, intriguing selections like Allen Hughes or respectable hirings like Mira Nair. But overall, the directorial talent behind the lens is a lot less compelling, though the faces in front of the camera are certainly geared towards a more mainstream audience. Natalie Portman (also making her directing debut), Shia LaBeouf, Bradley Cooper, Orlando Bloom, Julie Christie, Cloris Leachman, Eli Wallach, Chris Cooper, John Hurt, Ethan Hawke and Christina Ricci are among the star-studded cast.

Where “Paris, Je T’Aime” was largely enjoyable (though we could’ve done without Christopher Doyle’s segment), the official trailer for its New York counterpart has arrived and it feels labored, tired and uninteresting (though we’ll probably still see this for one segment of note it might contain). “New York, I Love You” looks like a compilation of every single NYC based rom-com or melodrama to come out of Hollywood over the last two decades (all scored to Phoenix’s excellent “1901“). You have the loveable old couple; cliched dialogue about city and people watching; Ethan Hawke spouting outrageously horrible pick up lines and lots of sexy, young people looking sexy and young. Ugh. However, most egregious is the terrifically unfunny post-credit, end-of-the-trailer sequence with James Caan playing “the outspoken, but charming old guy” who denies a woman birth control because he thinks its time she has babies. HILARIOUS!

As we reported earlier, both Scarlett Johannson and Andrei Zvyagintsev had their segments cut from the theatrical version of the film. They should probably send the producers a big bouquet of flowers right now. The track “1901” by French pop rockers Phoenix graces this trailer, but it’s a bit overwrought in this context.

While the trailer states “Coming This Fall,” the poster on Apple’s website has October 16th as the release date.