Things We Thought We'd Never Say: Ice Cube Is A Huge Wuss

There was a period from 1989 until about 1995 when Ice Cube was one of the scariest motherfuckers on the face of the planet. And rightfully so – as best we could gather at the time, the only things he rapped about were gangs, guns, police brutality and racial tensions. In 1990 ’91 and ’92, Cube released three of the hardest, most unflinching, most controversial rap records at the time. Suburban white boys responded by buying millions of copies of AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted, Death Certificate (which we got caught shoplifting from Record World back in the day- GANGSTA!) and The Predator – perhaps because they were drawn in by the bad boy image of Cube’s violent depictions of inner city life or perhaps because they thought that when Ice Cube finally snapped- he might only kill their families, sparing all the white suburban kids who bought (and hopefully for us, also those who shoplifted) his records.

Then he started making movies.

In 1991 Cube made his acting debut in John Singleton’s “Boyz N da Hood,” bringing the gritty reality of urban America to the big screen. An undisputed classic. In ’95 Cube brought us the comedy classic “Friday” and America thought ‘hey, this dude isn’t ALWAYS angry, he’s actually kinda funny.’ Thee years later, Cube asked somewhat rhetorically: ‘there’s snakes out there this big?’ to which Jon Voight responded ‘ yes’. Then he got back on track with “Three Kings” and we thought ‘ wow, Cube might have a successful movie career someday if the whole scaring old white people thing doesn’t work out’. Then came “Barbershop,” “Next Friday,” “Barbershop 2,” “XXX: State of the Union.” Then the dreaded ‘I gave up on my career for a paycheck’ family comedies started (see also: Murphy, Eddie and Martin, Steve): 2005’s “Are We There Yet” and the highly unnecessary sequel 2007’s “Are we Done Yet” (Ice Cube? In the SUBURBS?! OMG! LOL!). Last we heard he was going to bring yet another TV show that could barely sustain a 30 minute format to the big screen, in the title role.

On September 4th, Cube will put yet another nail in his gangster coffin when he releases Ice Cube: In the Movies, chronicling his musical contributions to all the cinematic masterpieces he’s been lucky enough to grace.

‘Ice Cube: In the Movies’ tracklisting:
ICE CUBE: IN THE MOVIES

1. You Can Do It (w/ Mack 10 & Ms. Toi) Next Friday (2000)
2. We Be Clubbin’ The Player’s Club (1998)
3. Natural Born Killaz (w/ Dr. Dre) Murder Was The Case (1995)
4. Anybody Seen The PoPo’s?! xXx: State of the Union (2005)
5. Friday Friday (1995)
6. How To Survive In South Central Boyz N The Hood (1991)
7. $100 Dollar Bill Y’all All About The Benjamins (2002)
8. (You Know) I’m A Ho (w/ Master P) The Player’s Club (1998)
9. The World Is Mine Dangerous Ground (1997)
10. Ghetto Vet (w/Mack 10 & Mr. Short Khop) I Got The Hook Up (1998)
11. Maniac In the Brainiac (w/ Mack 10)* Bulworth (1998)
12. The Wrong N**** To F**k Wit Scary Movie 2 (2001)
13. Roll All Day Gone In 60 Seconds (2000)
14. Higher Higher Learning (1995)
15. Trespass (w/ Ice-T) Trespass (2005)
16. Right Here, Right Now(w/Paul Oakenfold) Blade II (2002)

Here’s a track they left out (we can’t imagine why):
Ice Cube – “Street Fighter” (Street Fighter: The Movie Soundtrack)
Sample Lyric: “Y’all punk-ass ninjas can’t wait to see the Ice break / Bailin through the hood with my chocolate rice cakes”
A Certified Cube classic: Ice Cube – “Wicked” (The Predator)
[ed. This piece was written by the blogger-challenged contributor Mr. Snrub]