Reviews for “Valkyrie” seem politely half hearted. Jeffrey Wells called it “passable,” Anne Thompson’s headline review was “Not Bad” (though she did call if “fun”) and Variety’s Tom McCarthy said, the film, “finally takes flight as a thriller in its second half but never soars very high.”
They’re mostly all on the money “Valkyrie” is a half-way competent and entertaining thriller that isn’t terrible, but it’s not very good either. If you haven’t already heard, it’s about an alliance of German “noble heroes” who band together against their Nazi brethren in hopes of ending the war before the Allies devastate Germany (the end of WWII is impending; the writing is on the wall). It’s based on true events and the group hatch a plot to assassinate Hitler and obviously if you’re read one history book, you know they didn’t succeed.
Despite the rumors, Tom Cruise’s (who leads the group of “traitors’) performance is neither embarrassing or laughable (OK, the critic-filled audience laughed once at one over-the-top declaration, but that’s not bad considering) and the film won’t (or shouldn’t be) anywhere near a Razzie contender.
The main problems with the film were the same ones anyone with half a brain spotted on their first script reading – the screenplay is half baked and near the end flies on the exhausted fumes of forced and artificial tension (when we first read the script when we wrote: “we found [it] to be mostly unremarkable and kind of a convoluted mess near the end which is supposed to crescendo feverishly, but felt mostly anti-climactic.”) Perhaps adhering to history too closely, Christopher McQuarrie’s script never really gets out of second gear and thusly the filmmakers have to resort to melodramatic sound design and music which is about as half-assed as the German plot to overthrow Hitler from the inside is. “Valkyrie” also feels like a 90 minute story stretched out into almost two hours.
Credit must go to Bryan Singer though who does an incredibly admirable job with the material he’s given (why he decided to go ahead with the script – the exact version which we read, that’s on screen – however is any one’s guess).
In spite of some of the aforementioned melodrama, the film is well handled and a competently and mechanically crafted – but its a little like watching a maestro trying to conduct a decent orchestra playing a very poorly written opera – there’s only so much you can do if the material is weak, and that basically sums up “Valkyrie.”
The actors are mostly respectable, although yes, all these mixed accents and mostly British ones portraying German soldiers is very off-putting. Tom Wilkinson might be the standout and Terrance Stamp is good too, but its not like they’ll receive any awards, smallest papers in the country or otherwise. Bill Nighy is the lowlight, he plays cowardice, indecisiveness and no balls with a constant pained grimace like he’s constipated. Kenneth Branagh is actually quite good too, but someone had the bright idea to cast him as the inner circle member forced to leave the group because he is promoted to a position outside Berlin (the dissenters base of operations). Essentially he’s gone from picture after 20 minutes or so.
The film tries to get around accents by Tom Cruise speaking German in the opening voice over which ends up crossfading with English, but it does little good. The least they could have done was appropriate German accents speaking English – it mostly worked for “Defiance.” It’s certainly not a dealbreaker, but it doesn’t help either.
“Valkyrie is marginally suspenseful and marginally tense, but you don’t ever really care for any of the characters (self-righteousness is what you’re asked to sympathize with and doses of “doing the right thing”),but even though their lives are in danger nothing truly substantial feels at stake. We know how its going to end and the journey there is not particularly compelling though we suppose mildly engaging in spots here and there (the first 20-30 minutes of the film are probably the strongest).
But even a few hours later? “Valkyrie” feels like a movie you watched at home on Cinemax; its utterly forgettable and disposable. You’ll probably never think of it again. [C+]