'Valley Girl' Musical Remake Misses The Point Entirely

As part of MGM’s plan to repackage classic movies from their collection (see the “Fame” remake coming in September!), a musical remake of cult classic ’80s movie “Valley Girl,” which starred a pre-Cage Nicolas Coppola, has been given the go-ahead. Some idiots have been reporting that the remake will have a “Romeo and Juliet” plot as if the original wasn’t already knowingly based on the Shakespeare play and referenced in the movie when they go on a date to see a revival of…”Romeo & Juliet”! What is news about this musical remake is that it will incorporate songs from the original soundtrack which ended up being so huge that they actually released a More Music From Valley Girl CD – fairly unheard of at the time, especially since it was packed with unknown UK and L.A. new wave bands.

The remake has a ton of great ’80s pop songs to draw from, most of which help move the plot along nicely. Musically, the original movie is probably best known for its multiple inclusions of Modern English’s “I Melt With You.” However it also featured live performances from local L.A. bands The Plimsouls and Josie Cotton. Plus you’ve got great songs from Men At Work, Sparks and The Psychedelic Furs.

The thing Hollywood today don’t get about why the music of teen comedies in the ’80s was so cool is that there was actual credibility behind their selection. Remaking it now with the same songs is grating, but in the ’80s it was revolutionary because director Martha Coolidge was letting virtually unknown bands/songs drive the emotion. Turning “Johnny Are You Queer?” (which was, at the time, extremely controversial and was also recorded by legendary L.A. punk band Fear and The Go-Go’s) into a cast sing-along makes nowhere near as long-lasting an impression as going out and finding something underground and revolutionary in today’s music.

In short: your rehashes are boring. Stop it.

Also Jason Moore, who directed “Shrek: The Musical” on Broadway, is helming this ill-advised money pit of music clearances with someone named Amy Talkington who’s apparently never done anything of particular note (outside of a Lifetime movie about music school based on songs, no I’m not kidding) penning the screenplay. Gag me with a spoon. Like, totally.