Some weekends are just perfect for dishing out oodles of death and destruction. This one, for instance, brings us a theater schedule that features all manner of gory violence and evil plotting, followed by some good old-fashioned, cold-blooded killin’ sprees. We have revenge-hungry assassins, period piece murder, vacationing serial killers, natural disaster fatalities, and a deadly hang-gliding accident. Plus, the Williams Sisters totally kill it on the tennis court. And there’s always the chance that David Alan Grier might off Craig Robinson for trying to wed his daughter in the latest “Tyler Perry Presents” movie. Frankly, the debut of B-grade bloodbath “No One Lives” could not be better timed, its title capturing the mood and material of this release slate with judicious pith. With that in mind, we’d like to know, dear readers: which homicidal stories pique your debauched interest? Or will you be hanging with F. Scott Fitzgerald instead? Tell us in the comments below!
“The Great Gatsby.” Directed by Baz Luhrmann. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, and Isla Fisher. Our review: “With the sound off, Baz Luhrmann’s ‘The Great Gatsby’ surely looks as
radiant and extraordinary as some of the most dazzling movies ever
committed to celluloid, but with the sound up and the experience on full
volume, the movie is mostly a cacophony of style, excess and noise that
makes you want to turn it all down a notch…or three…” Metacritic: 55 Rotten Tomatoes: 46% The Playlist: C+
foundations built and enhanced by future generations that you wish it also didn’t
bend over backwards to present gags about nudist beaches and threesomes, not to
mention repeated plays of Wade’s [Robinson’s] kids-centric motivational song.” MC: 50 RT: 39% PL: C+
“Sightseers.” Directed by Ben Wheatley. Starring Steve Oram and Alice Lowe. Our review: “‘Sightseers’ homicidal holiday isn’t just a pitch-black comedy madewith skill, will and brains; it’s also another demonstration that
Wheatley is, to use an all-too-appropriate phrase, going places.” MC: 66 RT: 82% PL: A
“Aftershock.” Directed by Nicolas Lopez. Starring Eli Roth, Andrea Osvart, Ariel Levy, and Nicolas Martinez Zemborain. Slow to pick up any speed and sporting lots of violent (albeit imaginative) deaths, this disaster film never strays too far from the formula fence. MC: 40 RT: 39%
“Stories We Tell.” Directed by Sarah Polley. Our review: “Fans of Polley’s work to date will be delighted by a documentary thatserves simultaneously as a gripping mystery, a moving record of a family
and a fascinating investigation into the nature of truth, memory, and
the documentary form itself.” MC: 91 RT: 93% PL: A-
“No One Lives.” Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura. Starring Luke Evans, Adelaide Clemens, Lee Tergesen, and Derek Magyar. Our review: “Almost coming off like an academic blueprint of what a serial killer
movie should look like, rather than anything with a distinct voice or
authorial hand, ‘No One Lives’ shocks by virtue of being completely
uninteresting.” MC: 26 RT: 14% PL: D
“Assault On Wall Street.” Directed by Uwe Boll. Starring Dominic Purcell, Erin Karpluk, Edward Furlong, KeithDavid, Michael Pare, and John Heard. Our review: “To say this sort of thing is unfortunately topical is a cowardly way
of saying that there’s never, ever been a good time for this sort of picture
with this type of moral outlook. But the age of being offended by this sort of
thing might also be long gone: the only question on viewers’ minds during the
film’s violent climax is how exactly Boll was able to get so much shoddy
footage on location.” MC: 24 RT: 20% PL: D-
“Java Heat.” Directed by Conor Allyn. Starring Kellan Lutz, Ario Bayu, and Mickey Rourke.
The Indonesia-set shoot-em-up is a study in panache, with a retro
styling that hearkens past action gems. Also, Bayu is fairly strong;
Lutz is… well, not. But perhaps most intriguing is the fact that
Rourke’s ambiguous accent requires occasional subtitling. MC: 36 RT: 0%
provided most of the film’s music) playing over the final credits, we
left ‘Venus and Serena’ inspired to get out in the sun and get
moving. And call our siblings.” MC: 66 RT: 80% PL: B
“And Now a Word From Our Sponsor.” Directed by Zack Bernbaum. Starring Bruce Greenwood, Parker Posey, Callum Blue, and Allie MacDonald.Our review: “‘Sponsor’ has a wonderful, sly
point to make about how most ad slogans work because they flatter the
listener…But most of the time…the project seems compromised by a
meager budget
and limited scale.” MC: 36 RT: 10% PL: C